Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
