Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He? As in you personified your dick?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
