Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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