My Higher Power is John Stamos
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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