Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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