im drinking this country out of the recession.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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