dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
