Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
