dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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