i permit you to call me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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