Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
