I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
