Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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