erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
