Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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