Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
