you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize