Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
