just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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