No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I look better un-naked...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
