How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I want her autograph on my taint
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
