Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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