Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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