this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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