i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
