My brain says no but my pants say off.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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