We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
