is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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