I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
