He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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