4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
