im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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