I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
