Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
