I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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