We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
