she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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