I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm at about main and main street
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize