I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
