I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
