I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
