i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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