i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
