YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
