I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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