I'm jealous of your bromance
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
