Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
