I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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