Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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