You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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