well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i believe in u and ur pee
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
