hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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