well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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