The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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