She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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