I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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