he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize