The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
