Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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