Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
