I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sext me about skeletons
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
