i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
