But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
