You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
