that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
