my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sorry about my life...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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