God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize