I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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