when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
